


And All My Stars

by Scarletbird



Category: Skip Beat!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23572669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarletbird/pseuds/Scarletbird
Summary: Over three years since her fateful debut at LME, Kyoko has finally become a rising star. A tragic accident on-set leaves Kyoko in the hospital and Ren a complete mess. When rumors start swirling about a possible secret relationship, will Ren be able to quiet down the media firestorm on his own? After all, they're just friends... right?*Future Fic - AU diverges sometime after the Box R arc**Content rating is for brief language
Relationships: Mogami Kyoko/Tsuruga Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	And All My Stars

**Author's Note:**

> >   
>  _losing through you what seemed myself,i find  
>  selves unimaginably mine;beyond  
> sorrow's own joys and hoping's very fears_
>> 
>> _yours is the light by which my spirit's born:  
>  yours is the darkness of my soul's return  
> \--you are my sun,my moon,and all my stars_
>> 
>> _(ee cummings)_  
> 
> 
> Written mostly to an embarrassing number of repeats of [this song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8C5M3_Uaqk)  
> I promise it's not too angsty. Everyone's gonna be alright. 

“Watch out!” 

Those were the last words Kyoko could clearly remember. The rest was a blur. She remembered being lifted by a pair of strong arms. She was pressed firmly against the man’s chest. For some reason she knew it definitely was a man, someone she knew, but she couldn’t tell who. Her vision was flashing red and white. She couldn’t feel her head. Was that bad? Should she? 

There was a commotion. Someone trying to take her arm, pull her away. She squirmed. She didn’t want to be moved. She was safe here. 

She must know who this was. The answer was just outside her reach. Someone very, very important. 

“Stay with me, Kyoko. Come on, stay here. I’m right here, Kyoko, stay awake for me.”

No matter how desperate the man sounded, Kyoko couldn’t do as he asked. She fell into darkness as soft kisses showered her face, hands, hair. 

“Ren.”

Tsuruga Ren lifted his head. Without realizing it, he had almost drifted off to sleep. He still held her hand firmly in his own. It was so small, and pale. A catheter was hooked up to her other hand. He hated the sight of it, even if the logical side of him knew it was part of what was saving her life. 

Yashiro stepped further into the hospital room. “Ren, you should eat something. It’s already 8 o’clock.” 

Mutely, Ren shook his head. 

Yashiro sighed and took a seat across from him. “I heard what the doctors said. The piece of set from your drama fell on her head, but her spine is intact. It’s a severe enough concussion they need to put her in a medical coma for a few days to prevent her brain from swelling too much. She’s in the best medical facility in Tokyo. Ren, she’s out of your hands now. She’s going to be fine. She just needs to heal.”

Ren still couldn’t meet his eyes. 

“If she finds out you skipped a meal because of her, she’s going to kill you when she wakes up.” Yashiro’s voice was gentle, but firm. 

“I’ll eat something if you bring it up here,” Ren finally conceded. 

Yashiro paused, then nodded. Before he left the room he said, “I’ve cleared your schedule for tomorrow. Everyone thinks you’ve caught another nasty cold.”

Yashiro heard a quiet “Thank you” as he closed the hospital room door.

Yashiro shook his head as he walked down the stairs to the hospital cafeteria. The day was already a blur. He had been on set when the accident happened. Ren and Kyoko were filming a special 2nd anniversary episode for Dark Moon. It was a nostalgic day for the whole crew, and the building was brimming with excitement. Kyoko had grown into a mature, well-rounded actress in such a short time. It didn’t take much for her to slip effortlessly into her old role.

Ren, however, had struggled a little. It had been a while since he had been on set together with Kyoko. Yashiro couldn’t help but smirk every time Ren looked into Kyoko’s eyes and suddenly forgot a line. He had been acting like the old days. Yashiro wasn’t sure what exactly had happened, but somehow in the last few years their rivalry had settled into a friendship. A great one, certainly, but it seemed like everyone but Ren and Kyoko knew it deserved to become something more.

Yashiro wasn’t watching when a piece of rigging came crashing down. He heard shouts, and crashing. He rushed onstage to see a bloodied and dark-eyed Ren lifting his costar out of the rubble. There was nothing left of his hard-earned gentleman persona then. Ren’s face was a raw, desperate open wound.

Yashiro remembered the paramedics trying to take Kyoko out of his arms so they could take her in the ambulance. Ren looked ready to walk her there himself. Eventually they had to compromise and let Ren ride in the ambulance.

As soon as Kyoko was ready for visitors, Ren pulled a chair next to her bed and didn’t budge. Even when Lory, Moko, and Kyoko’s previous landlords all came to visit and talk to the doctor. He spoke little, answering their questions sparingly and always returning to her hand folded inside his. 

Yashiro had to smile a little when he remembered Moko’s comment. She sidled up next to Yashiro once they were both outside the room for a moment. “It’s hard to tell who’s the one with brain damage,” she said under her breath. 

It was exactly the sort of harsh thing Moko would say, but Yashiro had to agree, at least a little. Ren had seemed like he was overreacting this entire time. But Yashiro had to remember – To Ren, it wasn’t like his friend, even the closest friend he had ever had, was seriously hurt. It was like the sun had suddenly gone out. 

Ren was lost in the dark, and holding onto the only piece of light he had left.

_“Ren, where do you keep the salt?”_

_Ren put down his book and walked into the kitchen. “You’ve been over so many times, and you still don’t know where the salt is?” he teased._

_She stuck out her tongue at him. “It’s because you put things where they don’t make sense.”_

_He pulled out a canister of salt from above the fridge. “Here. Put it where you want.”_

_“But it’s your kitchen!”_

_He laughed. “Hardly. The microwave, that’s mine. You use the rest more than me.”_

_She opened to mouth her argue again, but she knew he was right. Cautiously she took the salt from his hand. Suddenly it looked like a bomb to her._

_Ren sighed. “Look, we’ll compromise. Here’s an empty cabinet. Why don’t you help me turn it into a spice cabinet? I’m not sure of the best way to organize it.”_

_Kyoko nodded, but she didn’t appear to be very mollified. Even now, months later, she was so flighty._

_“Kyoko.” Ren put a hand on her shoulder. For a second it looked like she might flinch. He withdrew his hand and sighed again. “It’s okay, Kyoko. This is just something that friends do. I’m not asking for anything more.”_

_Her big golden eyes looked up at him, searching. When she looked at him like this, Ren just wanted to gather her up in his arms and hold her as tight as he could. He also wanted to clock out the bastard who had made her like this in the first place. Instead, he smoothed his face into an innocent, open expression._

_“Promise?” Her voice was so quiet._

_Ren’s arms hung heavy at his side. His fingers ached to reach for her. “Promise. Just friends. Always.”_

Ren’s eyes fluttered open. For a second he thought he had fallen asleep on the couch again. His mind was still there, in that apartment, her loud laugh echoing against the walls as they finished dinner. Her shoulder pressed against his as she fell asleep in the middle of a drama they were watching. _For studying_ , she always insisted. Sometimes they discussed the acting techniques they had observed. Other times they both fell asleep on the couch before they realized it.

Ren rubbed his sore neck. He was sitting in a hospital chair, far from that old couch. The nurse must have come in and turned off the lights. He had a blanket around his shoulders. A digital clock flashed next to Kyoko’s bed. It wouldn’t be dawn for several hours.

If Ren didn’t look too closely, it might seem like Kyoko was sleeping. But Ren had watched Kyoko doze off more times than he would like to admit. He would describe her as something of an active sleeper – face twitching, mumbling, clearly having extremely vivid dreams. Even her subconscious had a wonderfully active imagination. 

She was too still. Too pale. Ren brushed a lock of auburn hair away from her eyes. He felt momentarily guilty. That was something Kyoko would never let him do while she was awake.

_Promise?_

Ren’s mind wandered off into another memory. It wasn’t a great one, but this was the perfect time of night for that. 

_“London Fog, please.”_

_“16 ounce coffee, black, no sugar.”_

_The waitress nodded and rushed off. Kyoko immediately returned her focus to the pile of paper scattered in front of her. They had chosen a secluded corner of the café. There was a little window that caught a bit of the first morning light. The curve of Kyoko’s face glowed with a gentle gold. Her ear, tucked beneath her wild morning hair, was briefly a translucent pink._

_“Your line, Ren.”_

_“Oh. Right.” Ren shook his head and looked at the script. “You’ll never understand, Mio. You’re too broken inside.”_

_Kyoko fired off her response. Her makeup was gone, but she was still Mio. Ren envied her focus. He knew he should be taking this just as seriously – after all, this was the finale episode. Millions of people in Japan would be tuning in for Mio and Katsuki’s final conflict. It was supposed to be infuriating but heart-wrenching at the same time. Even in the end, Mio would never come to understand Katsuki and Mizuki’s love. Kyoko was struggling to capture the complexity of this scene, so she had recruited Ren for some extra practice._

_The drinks they had ordered out of politeness were cold by the time they were close to wrapping up. It was late morning, and the coffee shop was totally empty._

_“Just this bit, one more time, okay?”_

_Ren smiled. He would stay here all day if she asked. “I’m leaving, Mio. And I’m not coming back.”_

_“Where will you go?”_

_“Far away from this place, this family. From you. I hope you’re happy Mio. Someday.”_

_She flashed him a tortured expression that slowly crystallized into a cold, sharp smile. Damn, she was good. “And why would you wish such a thing?”_

_“I love you.”_

_The words slipped out of Ren’s mouth before he knew what he was saying. Kyoko frowned. She pointed at the next line in the script. “Are you on the wrong page? You say that to Mizuki at the end of scene 8.”_

_Ren could have come up with some excuse. He could have said he was tired, and misspoke. Kyoko would have believed him._

_Instead, for some godforsaken reason, Ren decided to be honest._

_“I said, I love you.” Ren looked Kyoko straight in the eye. His shoulders were tense, but his voice was soft. Earnest. He wanted Kyoko to hear this. “You don’t have to respond. I just wanted you to know. Before our last scene together. Before we walk off set and never see each other again. I want to see you again. I want to get coffee and not drink it because we’re too busy talking. Get hamburger steaks at midnight at some old diner because we’re both exhausted. Troubleshoot new roles together. Dance at Lory’s silly Christmas ball.”_

_This whole time Kyoko’s was staring at him, slack-jawed and dumbfounded. As his words pounded their way into her brain, she slowly began shaking her head and backing away.  
“Look, Kyoko,” Ren went on quickly, “I don’t know a lot about what exactly happened, but I know you’ve been hurt. You don’t have to say anything if it’s too hard. I just… Please. Don’t go. I’m sorry.”_

_The last two words fell on an empty room. Kyoko was already gone._

_The last week of shooting had been awkward, to say the least. Yashiro kept giving him questioning looks. Ren and Kyoko didn’t speak a word to each other while they were on set, unless it was in the script. Luckily their acting didn’t suffer – partly due to their hard practice – but Ren was dying inside. The confession kept repeating over and over in his head like an accusation. How could he? How could he have dared to hurt her so badly? He was no better than Sho._

_It was the Dark Moon wrap-up party, a week after the last day on set, when Kyoko finally spoke to him again. By this time Ren had practically beat himself into a bloody pulp. When Kyoko grabbed his arm and pulled him into a quiet part of the courtyard outside, Ren thought he was hallucinating._

_“I have a condition,” Kyoko blurted out._

_“What?” Ren stared at her. Her face was bright red, but her mouth was set into a determined frown. Her blue chiffon dress was bunched tightly in her hands._

_“My answer. I know you said I didn’t have to give one, but I think I should.”_

_Ren nodded. He didn’t dare speak and mess this up again._

_“I do too. Want to hang out with you just like we used to. These last two weeks, not talking to you, were really hard. I kept opening my phone about to call and talk about something, before I realized. But –”_

_Ren took a deep breath. He had been waiting for the “but.”_

_“But not like that. I’m sorry. It’s too – It’s too.” She choked. Tears started rolling down her face. “Dammit. I practiced this.”_

_Ren put what he hoped was a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s alright. Let’s talk about it over coffee, okay? Tomorrow.”_

_Kyoko hiccuped. “Okay.”_

_Kyoko explained everything that next day. About her life with Sho, and how it had all ended. About why Lory had put her in the Love Me section. She thought Lory’s dream was hopeless. She told Ren, point-blank, that she couldn’t ever love again. Ren knew she believed those words, even if he disagreed with her assessment of herself._

_When Kyoko broke down into a stream of apologies, Ren interrupted gently. “What was your condition?”_

_Kyoko lifted herself out of a dogeza. “We can do all those things you said, but as friends. Is that okay?”_

_Ren solemnly placed his hand on his heart. “The things I said two week ago never happened. We’re friends, nothing more. I promise.”_

_The relief that flooded Kyoko’s face was something that Ren would never forget. It would haunt him every time his hand itched to touch hers, every time she dozed against his shoulder on the couch. Slowly he grew to accept their strange rhythm. Slowly, their friendship became the best thing in his life, and he wouldn’t dare change it. Even if his heart ached for something more, he learned to still it. Most days he didn’t even notice it. There was too much else to enjoy._

_Every moment he got to spend with her was the most important moment of his life._

The next morning, Ren went home long enough to shower, get a change of clothes, and grab a snack to eat. He wasn’t hungry, but he knew Yashiro’s scolding yesterday was right. He had better eat something, for her sake if nothing else. 

Ren’s world had narrowed down to a single bed in a single room. Nothing else got his attention that day. He dozed off a little, here and there. The doctor came to check on her a few times. Or maybe just once. The whole day was a blur. 

Sometime in the late afternoon, there was a gentle knock on the door. Yashiro stepped gingerly inside. 

“How’s she doing?” he asked quietly. 

Ren gave his best impression of a smile. “Her doctor was just in. Everything’s going as expected. Her brain isn’t swelling anymore.”

“That’s good!” Yashiro pulled up a chair next to Ren. “Look, I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to say this…” he trailed off and starting putting on a pair of gloves. “I really think you should go to work tomorrow.”

Yashiro pulled out his phone and opened the web browser. It was already open to a popular gossip blog. The top headline read: “DISASTER ON SET: TOP STAR GETS TO PLAY REAL-LIFE HERO.” Yashiro pulled up another tab. “TSURUGA REN IN HOSPITAL.”

Ren shook his head. He would ask how they were getting this information so fast, but in his world it should be no surprise. Gossip spread fast online, true or untrue. 

“There are a few blurry pictures already,” Yashiro said. Ren arguing in front of the ambulance. Ren walking out of the hospital this morning, eyes red. Yashiro scrolled through them quickly. “Luckily, none of Mogami-san. It looks like they haven’t caught on to that yet.”

Yashiro put down his phone and looked at Ren seriously. “It’s only a matter of time. We have no choice but to act like all is well, or Mogami-san is going to be caught up in a media firestorm.”

Ren nodded dully. 

“I’m sorry,” Yashiro said gently. “I know this is the last thing you want to deal with right now.”

“It’s okay,” Ren’s voice was rougher than he meant. When was the last time he spoke? “All I’ve been doing so far is sitting, waiting, and worrying. The paramedics, nurses and doctors – they’re the ones who have been actually helping. Now it’s my turn to do what I can. Even if it’s as simple as showing up to work and pretending that nothing is wrong.”

“Not pretending,” Yashiro said with a small smile. “Acting.”

Ren smiled back, just a little. “I think I can do that.”

Ren went home that night, at his own insistence. He didn’t sleep, but he did dream. His mind was full of memories.

_“I’m so sorry!” Kyoko threw herself down in a dogeza._

_Ren hurriedly pulled Kyoko inside his apartment before his neighbors would notice the scene._

_“Sorry for what?” he asked calmly._

_Kyoko hung her head and handed him her phone. “REN TSURUGA’S LATEST FLING??” was emblazoned at the top of the web page._

_Ren glanced at the blurry photo of them sitting at a restaurant together. “So what?” he said, handing her back the phone. “According to the media I had three different girlfriends last week.”_

_Kyoko’s lip wobbled. “But going out – but grabbing food that night was my idea. I forgot to wear my sunglasses and hat. And now you and Mr. Yashiro have to deal with it.”_

_Ren gently took her arm and settled her onto the couch. “We’re not going to deal with it. As far as the public knows, this is just another rumor. The second we make a statement, that’s when the press will send out the scent hounds.”_

_“But what about your reputation?”_

_Ren put a teapot on the stove, then sat down on the couch next to her. “A single fan blog is not going to ruin my reputation.”_

_Kyoko went quiet. Her brow was furrowed. Clearly she wasn’t as mollified as Ren had hoped.  
Ren sighed. “This isn’t about that article, is it?”_

_Kyoko curled into the couch and shook her head. “I’m really sorry,” she mumbled._

_Ren fought himself for a moment, then finally reached over to pull the throw blanket over her shoulders. “You don’t have a single thing to be sorry for,” he said quietly, but with conviction._

_Kyoko shook her head. “I do though! I have a hundred things to apologize for.” She looked at him with big sorrowful eyes. “I just haven’t realized until now. I’m sorry.”_

_Now Ren was totally lost. “What are you talking about, Mogami-san?”_

_“I mean – this morning when I glanced at my phone, I realized that this was not the first news story I’ve seen speculating about – about –” She swallowed. “About us. About you. You and Yashiro never said anything. When we went to Lory’s Christmas ball last year. When the paparazzi found our favorite coffee shop and staked it out. When we kept getting invited to interviews together. They had photos, interviews with anonymous crew members. Poor Yashiro must be running himself ragged, trying to keep the media from hounding you.”_

_“I told you,” Ren said, still as calm as ever, “False rumors always die down eventually.”_

_“But those stories fizzled out and died the next day.” Kyoko gave him one of those looks – that searching, piercing gaze that saw straight through him. “What did you tell them?”_

_“I told them the truth, Mogami-san.” He lifted his fingers one by one. “We were at a work meeting. We were at a wrap party. We have mutual friends.”_

_“See? Look at all the trouble I caused you.”_

_“It’s not trouble, it’s life. Look, I don’t care about– ” The teapot hissed. Ren ran into the kitchen before it could start screaming in earnest. He returned with two mugs of chamomile tea. Kyoko took the mug and waited for him to finish._

_Ren sipped his tea, choosing his words carefully. He had been about to say something dangerous. “Scandals, rumors, paparazzi; they’re a part of this business. I’m glad I’m your friend, Mogami-san,” Ren said quietly. “I’d say that’s worth the occasional fan blog or blurry photo.”_

_Kyoko was silent for a moment, sipping her tea. “I guess you’re right. I’m still going to be mad about it.”_

_“Okay, let’s compromise. We’ll be more careful from now on, okay? No meeting alone in public places. When we meet with friends, we sit apart. I’ll keep your manager in the loop when Yashiro has to deal with the media. That way she can help too.”_

_Ren might have imagined it, but for a brief second Kyoko seemed to look disappointed as she processed what this proposal would look like. She lifted her chin and looked him right in the eye. “Okay. We’ll be more careful. Thanks, Tsuruga-san.” She stood up and started looking for her purse. “Sorry I took up so much of your evening.”_

_In response, Ren motioned toward the empty seat on the couch. “At least finish your tea?”_

_Kyoko settled back next to him. “Sure,” she said. And smiled._

The next day, it was business as usual. Ren had a few more re-takes than normal, but the director didn’t mention anything. He could tell that Ren was clearly distracted by something, but was trying not to let that affect anyone else.

That evening, Ren and Yashiro holed up in Ren’s apartment, writing emails and making phone calls. The first day, they were optimistic. This wasn’t too unlike the other scandals they had stifled before. The second day, however, a new photo emerged. Ren holding a bloodied figure in his arms, face bent down over hers. The mystery woman was soon identified as Mogami Kyoko, talento at LME and rising star.

That’s when all hell broke loose. 

By day three, Yashiro’s phone was ringing nonstop. Calls requesting interviews, statements, magazine cover stories. It seemed like all of Japan was asking the same question: who was this mysterious talento that Japan’s #1 star was so distraught about?

Yashiro turned them all down. He and Ren had created canned statements for all of them. But this time, the simple statements didn’t seem to quiet down the fervor. Yashiro stared blankly at his phone on day four, a realization finally dawning on him. 

This rumor was harder to kill – because it was true.

Yashiro looked up from his phone, at the man sitting across the table. Ren was looking more pale and ragged every day. Clearly he hadn’t been sleeping well, if at all. He was sitting quietly, head in hands, trying to take steady breaths. 

“We should take a break, Ren,” Yashiro said gently. 

For a moment Ren didn’t respond. He mumbled something too softly for Yashiro to hear.  
“What was that?”

Ren looked up at him. His eyes were desperate. “What is she going to think of me when she wakes up?”

“What do you mean? None of this was your fault, Ren. You were acting on impulse in a very stressful situation.”

“I made her a promise. I made myself one too. That I wouldn’t ever – ” He crushed the magazine in front of him in his fist, then paused and gently set it down. “She just wanted to be friends. I promised I would respect that.”

Yashiro couldn’t help himself. He gasped and pointed a finger at Ren’s face. “I knew it! I knew she had friend-zoned you! When did you confess?”

Ren gave him a chilling look. Yashiro sat back down in his chair, trying to look guilty. “Okay, okay. Not the time. Sorry.”

Ren sighed heavily. “They’re digging into her past now, Yashiro. They’re going to find out about the fact that she ran away from home to live with a now-world famous pop star. As a minor. Things could get really bad. And it’s my fault. I created this scandal.”

“We’re all human, Ren,” Yashiro said. “Kyoko too. She’ll understand.”

“She deserves better than this. She’s a rising star now – she finally got a leading role this year in a popular drama. This is the sort of the scandal that ruins careers. Or at least sets her back for years. She has no right to forgive me.”

“Ren.” Yashiro stared at him until Ren could meet his eyes. “Look. You’re wallowing. I get it, you’re afraid you might lose the girl you love. But you haven’t yet. Kyoko’s still fighting and so should you. We still have time. We just have to figure out who are the right people to talk to, to get this buttoned up.”

Ren nodded numbly and looked at the crumpled magazine. He pulled out a notepad, one with lists of names and numbers scribbled across it. “Who was the lead editor of _Japan Today_ again?”

_Was this the fourth night without sleep, or the fifth? His dreams were a jumbled blur now. Kyoko, smiling as he handed her a mug of tea. Her small hand briefly brushing against his. The wings of her shoulderblades, framed by the curve of her blue chiffon dress. He kept trying to tell her the truth, that he loved her, he still loved her. His words kept catching in his throat. How could he? How dare he? Blood trickling down the side of her face. She was too pale. Too still. The machine in the hospital was beeping. What was wrong? Was she –_

Ren’s eyes flicked open. The beeping was his alarm. He sighed. Another exhausting night. 

He couldn’t sleep until she woke up.

That evening, Ren found himself back in the hospital. He had worn a mask and dark glasses. He could console Yashiro with the semblance of being careful, but in reality he would have come if the building had been on fire. His dreams kept haunting him. He had to see her again, had to make sure she was really alright. 

One of her nurses glanced at him as he strode past. “Another visitor? Busy night,” she observed.

Kyoko’s room was full. Ren realized dimly it was the weekend, and other people probably had more time to visit. He didn’t really feel like shouldering his way through a crowd, but Moko caught sight of him and motioned him inside. 

“You probably know but, they started tapering the sedatives today,” Moko told him. “The doc said it helps for people to hear familiar voices. So we’re all taking our turn. You can be next, if you want.” 

Kyoko’s old landlords were sitting next to her, holding her hand and talking calmly, as if all three were carrying on a conversation. By their gestures and facial expressions, they looked like they could have been her parents. In effect, they basically were. 

Ren shook his head, not wanting to interrupt. 

Maria took her turn next. Not quite knowing what to say, she rambled about plans she had been cooking up for Kyoko’s next birthday party. Lory put his hand on Maria’s shoulder and offered suggestions, laughing at her occasional outrage. Maria clearly looked up to Kyoko as an older sister, and she took her part in all this very seriously. 

Ren blinked at surprise at who sauntered up next. 

Sho. Ren hadn’t noticed him, dressed in street clothes and wearing dark glasses. A lot like himself, Ren noted with irony. 

Sho either ignored Ren or pretended not to notice. Their relationship had simmered down into a mutual dislike. He and Kyoko, however, had managed to patch things up. They no longer got into screaming matches whenever they were in the same room. Sometimes they even called each other just to catch up. Being caught up in their own different worlds had helped. It seemed like time and distance really did heal wounds. 

Sho said a few words Ren couldn’t quite catch, then quietly slipped out of the room. He nodded solemnly at Ren, just one quick dip of his head and he was gone.

And there was still a crowd of people waiting to have their turn. A few of Kyoko’s closest co-stars. Director Ogata. A member from the Bridge Rock crew. Ren’s head was spinning. This was only a fraction of the people who loved her. And, he realized – of all the people she loved. 

Ren felt like an idiot. He had to see them literally all line up in front of him to finally see it. Kyoko could love. She did love. She was healed, and she didn’t even know it. 

The next question was obvious, but he still kicked himself for thinking it. Where did that leave him? 

A selfish thought. If she didn’t love him back after all this time, that was up to her. Not him. Part of him had always clung to the hope that eventually she would change her mind. Take back the promise they had made. But if her healed heart couldn’t love him, then there was no hope.

Ren was so caught up in his thoughts, he barely noticed when Moko nudged him with her elbow. “Don’t keep her up too late,” she said with a sideways smile, and left. 

Ren was the last one in the room. Suddenly he had no idea what to say. He wished she would just wake up so he could talk to her. Ask all the questions that were tumbling through his head. And one question in particular, just to hear the answer he knew he would hear. 

“I really am selfish, aren’t I?” he muttered. “I’ve been haunting your steps for years, waiting for a different answer than the one you already gave. I’ve almost destroyed your career over it.” Ren folded his hand over Kyoko’s, one last time. “Wait until just a little longer to wake up, okay? I can’t believe I’m asking that but – I have something I need to fix for you first. I have to kill this rumor once and for all. I can’t hold you back anymore.” 

“We’re live in 3, 2 – ”

The director motioned silently. The stage lights centered down on Ren, sitting on a plush couch with the interviewer from _Tokyo Weekly_. A smartly dressed woman in her 30s, she smiled broadly for the camera. 

“Good evening Japan! Tonight we have a special treat – a surprise interview with everyone’s favorite heart-throb, Tsuruga Ren!”

The crowd roared. Ren raised his hand, giving them his signature angelic smile. The crowd roared even louder. 

The woman politely waited for them to quiet down. “So Tsuruga-san, I’m sure you’re aware of the buzz that’s been surrounding you this week. I’ve been told you’re finally ready to tell Japan the truth tonight. However, before we get to that, I thought we should catch up a bit. It’s been quite a while since you were our guest.”

Ren played the perfect engaged guest, answering her rote questions about his latest roles and hobbies, and letting him plug his new movie. He was grateful for the feeling of familiarity. For the first time in years, his nerves were almost getting to him. In order to pull this off, he had to tell an extremely believable lie in front of all of Japan. And the best lies, of course, are 95% truth. 

In an apartment across Tokyo, Yashiro’s phone rang. He hurriedly put on his gloves and was surprised to see it was not Ren, but Lory. 

“Hello?”

“Yashiro, your cab is waiting.”

“I’m sorry? Where?”

“To go fetch your charge. The cab driver knows where to go.”

Yashiro was totally lost. A familiar feeling when working with Lory. “You mean Ren? He told me he was staying in tonight. Taking the evening off.”

“Tell that to the half a million people watching him right now. Get him off that stage, Yashiro. Before he does something incredibly stupid.”

“To tell you the truth, I’ve been so stupid.” Sho sighed, taking Kyoko’s weak hand. They had stopped her sedatives a few hours ago, but Kyoko was taking her time waking up. Sho had snuck in and asked the nurses for a few minutes alone. He had something important to say, and he couldn’t wait a moment longer to say it. 

“All those years together, and I threw them in the trash. The first time I lost you, I didn’t realize what it meant at first. I thought life would be the same without you around. No, better. I could take as many girls as I wanted home, I could party all night, I could – ” He shook his head. “And for years every time I saw you, I hurt you again. I’m so sorry, Kyoko. Now that I’ve finally got you back in my life, and we’re something like friends again… It’s been incredible. You’re such an inspiration to me. Your fiery spirit, your idiotic confidence. I never could have gotten this far in the music industry without you.”

“I’ve already almost lost you twice. I don’t want to lose you again. I have something to confess. I don’t think you’re gonna like it, but that’s okay. I don’t want to lose my chance. So hurry up and wake up already, okay?”

Kyoko, as ever, remained silent. The hospital room’s TV was still chattering in the background. Sho sighed again and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Every minute without her was agony. 

“…so you’ve known Mogami-san for almost 5 years, then?”

Sho’s ears pricked at the name. Why was Kyoko on TV? 

The screen flashed to Ren’s smug, perfect face. “That’s right. Mogami-san and I didn’t actually meet at the Dark Moon set. We ran into each other at LME, of course. Our first role together, if you could call it that, was a casting test for a drama that never got much popularity…”

Hearing Ren say Kyoko’s name like that was making Sho’s blood boil. Why on earth was he on TV right now, spreading gossip about her? 

Nonetheless, Sho’s eyes were fixed on the screen.

“ … Even then I was totally blown away by her skills as an actress.”

The interviewer’s sharp smile was also smug and perfect. Where did they find these people? “Is that when your crush on her first started?” She let out a tinkling laugh. “Sorry, am I getting ahead of myself?”

Ren shook his head. “Actually, no. That wasn’t until we started acting together in earnest.”  
Sho’s jaw dropped. What was Ren thinking? Was he in the middle of a tell-all in front of the entire country?

The woman nodded eagerly. “Dark Moon.”

“That’s right. I was having trouble connecting with Katsuki – don’t look surprised, it happens quite often – and Mogami-san was instrumental with helping me understand the role. I’m in a great debt to her. That was a turning point in my early career.”

The interviewer was eating this right up. “Was Mogami-san aware of your feelings at the time?”

“At the time, no. To tell the truth I was terrified of confessing at first. I wasn’t ready for a relationship at the time, due to some … personal hang-ups.”

“But you did, eventually?” The interviewer leaned in, saying the word with unhinged glee. “Confess?”

Ren let out a dark laugh. “Yes, I did. I was rejected.”

The interviewer paused for a moment. “Rejected?” 

“Yes, quite firmly. We agreed to be friends after that. That was…” Ren counted on his fingers. _Idiot_ , Sho seethed. Surely he wouldn’t remember the exact time and date. “…almost two years ago.”

Clearly the interviewer was not expecting this plot twist. She looked about to grill him for more answers, but instead soldiered onward. “Thank you for that candid recap, Tsuruga-san. That brings us to present events then. All of Japan, of course, is buzzing about the tragedy that happened on set this week. I trust Mogami-san is doing much better?”

For the first time Ren’s gentlemanly smile had a tiny crack. His eyes weren’t so bright. “Very much, yes. I’ve been told she should be waking up soon.”

“Excellent news! She had us all quite worried for a while. Yourself included, of course.” 

Ren nodded. “Of course. She’s become a very good friend.” He said the word casually, easily, as if there wasn’t a trace of anything else hiding under the surface.

The woman wasn’t fooled, and neither was Sho. “I’m sure she has. I have to confess something of myself, though. I think you might be keeping something from us.”

“Not at all.” Spoken a little too quickly. Uh-oh, there was blood in the water now. “I came here to tell all, and I’ve said everything quite honestly I assure you.”

The interviewer’s teeth flashed. “Is that so?”

Behind them, a short video began playing on a giant screen. It was muted and looped every 10 seconds. Taken by a camera phone and given a little digital touch-up, it showed a brief moment where Ren was showering kisses on an unconscious Kyoko.

Sho nearly ran up and punched the TV screen. Where on earth did they get that? More importantly, what on earth gave Ren the right to do such a thing?

The crowd was very quiet. The video looped once more, then went black. That’s when the crowd erupted into a roar of clapping, cheers, and screams. The woman let them go on for a moment, her smile turning more and more deadly. 

“Here at _Tokyo Weekly_ we take a strong stance against turning tragedy into gossip,” the woman said as soon as the crowd was quiet enough. “However with Mogami-san quickly on the mend none of us see this as a tragedy. Rather, it should be a celebration. Tell me, Tsuruga-san. What exactly is your relationship with Mogami-san?”

There it finally was. The point-blank question. Sho leaned toward the TV as if it would help him hear better. 

Ren seemed to take a moment to collect himself. Sho doubted Ren had known of the video’s existence until now. “We’re great friends, and I hope we shall continue to be for a long while to come.”

The woman wagged her finger at him. “Tsk-tsk. I’ll give you one more chance. Are you in love with her? Secretly, perhaps?”

Ren froze. Something about that had hit too close to home. _Just say no and end the interview already!!_ Sho screamed in his head. But watching Ren’s gentlemanly mask shatter in real-time, Sho knew. He knew that Ren desperately wanted to say no, and that something deep in his soul was struggling not to say the biggest lie of his life.

Ren opened his mouth to speak.

Several things began happening at the same moment. One of Kyoko’s machines began beeping shrilly. Her fingers twitched, and she groaned. On set, chaos erupted as Ren’s manager burst into the fray and started tugging Ren off screen. Similarly, several nurses all rushed into Kyoko’s room and waved for Sho to get out of the way. The interviewer shouted a call for a commercial break. 

Both Sho and Ren left the room.

“I’m sorry, what the _hell were you thinking?_ ” The walls to the break room were very thin, so Yashiro kept his voice down to a murderous whisper. 

“I was trying to clear things up before she wakes up,” Ren said. His eyes were dull, his shoulders limp. 

“And how does any of that clear things up? You were about to lie in front of all of Japan!”

“I couldn’t do it. I’m too selfish.” Ren’s voice was empty. “I was about to set her free from me, but at the last second I froze.”

“Excuse my language, but _fucking good!_ ” Yashiro grabbed Ren by the collar. His head bobbled back and forth. “Are you an idiot? How could you just throw away your chance with her like that? _‘Set her free’?_ Have you seen yourself this week? You can barely survive 5 days without her, let alone the rest of your life.”

“She can’t love me, Yashiro. There’s no point.”

“Ugh! You are completely hopeless!”

Ren’s phone buzzed. Ren instinctively glanced at the screen. Yashiro was still talking, but Ren couldn’t hear that anymore. 

It was a text from Sho. 

_She’s awake._

When Ren arrived at her hospital room, Sho was leaning against the door. To Ren’s surprise, Sho stepped away from the door and motioned Ren inside. He was expecting more of a fight. 

“She wouldn’t talk to me,” Sho said, sensing his question. “She’s still pretty drowsy, but she still managed to fight with me.” A crooked smile. “Figures.”

Ren nodded mutely. Just as his shoulder brushed past Sho, he heard him say quietly, “You better give her the right answer this time. Or I’ll be here waiting.”

For some reason, he was expecting the room to look different. There were still just as many machines, but a few had dark screens. The sight of Kyoko’s frail body sunk into that huge hospital bed always made his stomach turn. Her eyes were closed and she was taking slow, shallow breaths. He wanted to pick her up and carry her out of there. He knew he didn’t have the right.

He pulled up a now-familiar chair. This time he didn’t reach for her hand. He sat quietly for several minutes, just watching her breathe. Her face was a little livelier than before. But still too pale.

Eventually her eyes fluttered open. She glanced around the room, caught sight of Ren, and her face relaxed into a small smile. His heart caught in his throat.

“Oh,” she yawned. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“You were sleeping. I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Nonsense. I’ve gotten more than enough sleep.” Her eyes gleamed. 

“Then good morning, Princess,” he teased. 

“Morning.” She looked at him, as if she were finally seeing him. “Oh! Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”

“No no, I’m fine.”

She frowned a little and brushed a hand against his forehead. Ren suddenly couldn’t move. “You don’t look like you’ve been sleeping. Has Yashiro been getting you to eat?”

Ren nodded dumbly. He swallowed, then said, “Don’t worry about me. You’re the one in the hospital bed.”

She chuckled. “The nurse said I’ll be up and walking by tomorrow evening. Don’t you worry about me either.”

“Too late. Can’t help it.” On the surface Ren still seemed to be joking, but there was a serious edge to his voice that Kyoko couldn’t miss. 

“Is there something wrong?” Kyoko asked. “Did something happen while I was sleeping?”

“Nothing’s wrong, Mogami-san. I’m just glad you’re awake. Everyone is.”

Kyoko just frowned at him. After a moment, Ren sighed. “You always could see straight through me. Can’t it wait until tomorrow? When you’re less exhausted?”

Kyoko tried to sit up a bit straighter. “Not when you put it like that.”

Ren rubbed his temple. “I don’t even know where to start. I suppose with an apology.”

“For what?”

“For breaking our promise.”

“Which one? How?”

“When you got hurt, I panicked. No, that’s just an excuse. It’s bigger than that.” Ren realized he was rambling, and paused to look Kyoko right in the eye. “Mogami-san, I haven’t been keeping our promise this entire time. I am very sorry. I tried, very hard, to just be a friend. But then when you – when I thought I lost you, I let my feelings slip, in front of everyone. The truth is, I haven’t ever stopped being in love with you. When you were asleep, I felt like a hole had been punched through my chest. And now I know – you’ve become my whole world. My sun, moon and all my stars. I’m hopeless, Mogami-san. I can’t quit loving you. I’m sorry. I betrayed your trust. I don’t deserve to call myself your friend anymore. Not when I’ve hurt you so deeply.”

Kyoko looked shell-shocked. She was also blushing furiously. “I – I –”

Ren stood up to leave. “I’m sorry to barge in and cause you such distress. I should let you rest.”

Kyoko shook her head and motioned for Ren to sit. “I… I thought you’d given up on me,” she finally was able to say.

“I’m sorry, Mogami-san. I tried.”

She waved away his fourth apology. She started searching for the words. This was important. “I thought, surely it was all spur of the moment. You were just feeling emotional about the drama being over. Surely once you got to know me better, and realized how plain and boring I am, you’d find someone else worthy of you.”

“You’re far from plain or boring, Mogami-san.”

“I thought my timing was off. What horrible luck. By the time I realized I was in love with you, you seemed content with just being friends.”

Now it was Ren’s turn to reel in shock. Kyoko was even redder than before. 

“You – when – ?”

In response, Kyoko just nodded.

He pulled Kyoko into a fierce hug. She relaxed into his arms and nuzzled against his shoulder. Finally. It felt so right, like she had belonged there this whole time. 

“I love you.” It was Kyoko who spoke. Her voice was small and cautious. “Is that alright?”

“It’s alright” He sighed into her hair. “Everything’s alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my first completed fanfic! (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> Originally I hadn't planned to make this a future fic, but it just sort of happened around page 2. I've always been fascinated by how incredibly _slow_ the canon slow burn is, and wanted to see what would happen if everything went on for years upon years. In one-shot form, of course. And I wanted to write a scene where Kyoko's the one who confesses. (since that is officially not canon. we have a canon confession guys) (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄


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